The morning I stopped apologising for being here

For years I began each morning with a low, quiet apology. Not out loud. Not to anyone in particular. Just a background hum of sorry, as if my presence was something I needed to explain. Sorry for taking up space. Sorry for still being here when others weren't. Sorry for not being further along, further healed, further sorted.

I don't know exactly when it started. Grief probably. Depression definitely. Some of it goes further back than that.

What changed

Then one morning I woke up and I was tired. Not tired of life. Tired of that quiet apology. I sat on the edge of the bed and said out loud, "I'm here. That's enough for today."

I didn't feel a rush of anything. No dramatic shift. Just a small settling. Like something had been holding its breath and finally exhaled.

Try it if you need to

I've said it every morning since. Some days it lands. Some days it doesn't. That's fine.

If you're carrying a version of that apology too, you might try it. You don't have to earn your place at the table. You don't have to justify being here. You woke up. That's the whole assignment. The rest is a bonus.